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What type of men are you attracting?
Are they who you envisioned?
If you’re reading this article, it means either you’re curious of my intention or are constantly attracting the wrong men. The ‘wrong man’ is different for every woman. As an advocate of the law of attraction, I believe you must first be who you want to attract. For example… a woman who doesn’t take care of herself physically, isn’t health conscious, and despises humor can’t expect to meet a comedian that is health conscious with a ripped body. This is a complete mismatch. You must be who you want. There are a few steps to becoming who you want.
- Me Time. You must do a little soul-searching to figure out who you are and what you like. Do you like your eggs scrambled or hard-boiled? What excites you? What motivates you? What are your relationship expectations? A good exercise is to journal everything you like, love, and could care less about. This may seem to be cumbersome but I guarantee it’s worth it.
- Pet Peeves vs Acceptable. Once you know exactly who you are, now it’s time to figure out who you want. Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write acceptable and on the other side write unacceptable. Go down each side and list all the qualities in a man who you want and don’t want. (They must be stated in the positive. e.g. I want a man who accepts me for me instead of I don’t want a man who can’t accept me for me.) After you have your lists, select your non-negotiable items on both sides. At the end you will have identified your instant deal breakers and minimum acceptable qualities. For example… a deal breaker is a man who wants to change me and is un-supportive. A top acceptable quality is a man who loves kids (especially since I have two little ones).
- Ideal Picture. Now you must determine what your ideal picture of a relationship is. Only you know what your perfect — and I use the term loosely — relationship looks like. Have a little fun and daydream about what it would like, look like, smell like, and even taste like. Is the man you picture similar to the man you depicted in the previous step? He should be. If he isn’t you may need to revisit step 2 and be honest with yourself — remember it’s for your benefit.
- Check. A reality check is in order for this step. Revisit steps two and three. Do you possess any of the negative or unacceptable traits you don’t desire in a partner? If you do…, search within yourself to determine why you wouldn’t accept that behavior from your partner but expect them to accept it from you. You must be who you want. If you’re a five it’s unlikely you will attract a ten. Be honest with yourself.
- Expectation. What are your expectations of a partner and/or a relationship. You need to be aware of your purpose for dating and entering a relationship. Are you bored? Are you looking for love? Are you in love with love? Unrealistic expectations will always breed disappointment. Save yourself some disappoint and frustration. Realize your personal expectations and be able to communicate them to your partner. If they are unwilling to accommodate you, don’t force them, move on.
The ‘right’ man is out there for you. But you first have to know who is right for you. I believe there is someone out there for everyone and it’s just a matter of figuring out who that person is for you.
Sound off in the comments to let me know how these exercises are working for you.
P.S. Don’t forget to share across your favorite social media channel. Thx