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Can Men & Women Be Platonic Friends?

Published on September 5, 2011 by in Dating

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The infamous friend zone! People have varying opinions when it comes to opposite sex friendships. A vast majority of people I talk to believe men and women cannot be friends. I have found those people that believe it can work also have a friend of the opposite sex whom they’re attracted too. I don’t believe this type of friendship can work.

When discussing this topic in a group, several men said this friendship is impossible. They also said the woman controls the relationship and if she ever wanted to take it to the next level, they would. They continued stating the friendship is just a rouse to stay connected with the woman. They really aren’t friends.

Women, in general, believe men are their friends and wouldn’t even dream of taking things to the next level. If men are sexual beings who are driven visually then why they would befriend an attractive woman? Most wouldn’t unless they had ulterior motives. And in other cases, these so called friendships are actually intimate relationships that can’t/won’t evolve into something deeper.

I was friends with a man for more than 10 years and one day out of the blue he professed his love for me. He said he always wanted to talk to me but didn’t know how to transition from the friend zone. Since that incident, three other of my so called male friends decided to come clean about their feelings/intentions. This solidified it in my mind that men and women cannot be platonic friends. After all love is simply a friendship on fire!

Happy Reading!

 
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5 Comments  comments 
  • http://www.fapwinner.com Uncle Peanut

    I completely disagree that men and women cannot be friends I have plenty of female friends that I have never tried to “get with”. To try and hook up with every women that I know would indicate a a very low level of attraction and selection. It is true that SOME men cannot have female friends and the same holds true for SOME women. Some are always in either in hook up or fire! mode, It is important to have friends of the opposite sex to be able to give you the other side of the story, issue or feeling.

    Example: Earlier today, I counseled a couple planning to get married. She complained that he wanted sex all the time, so she resorted to being passive in the process. This in turn led to him with holding sex. I explained that when she did not actively participate in the process, she hurt his feelings. and he responded negatively. She had no idea that this type of behavior hurt his feelings, ego and pride. If she had a male friend to talk to, she would have been advised on how this impacted him and ultimately how it will affect them.

    The bottom line is that men and women CAN be friends, NOT friends with benefits, if both understand the nature of the relationship, and are not willing to treat each other like the glass in a fire extinguisher to be broken when things get to hot…..

    Being friends with the opposite sex is possible and helpful, but requires understanding, discipline, control and a commitment to keeping the friendship in the friend zone, and not the IN Zone…..

    • http://sennysen.wordpress.com Senny Sen

      Great comment! I believe men and women can be associates but not friends. I have quiet a few male associates and that’s who I typically talk to for advice. It’s just been my experience that its extremely hard to have a truly platonic friendship with the opposite sex.

  • Dee

    Nope! All the male friends that I have, we have either hooked up or one of us wanted to at some point. Mostly him, because if I wanted to, I would have lol.

  • Derrick

    I kind of agree with you. Most men that find a woman attractive will have a hard time staying on the friendship trail. They are waiting for when the moment is right or hoping that the woman sees how great of a catch they are. I do have female friends that are attractive and the reason I would not entertain the thought of taking it to another level is their connecting relationships. For example, I find the sister of an ex-girlfriend attractive but I would NEVER, hit on her and if she hit on me it would feel slimy to me. I also have a great female friend that I consider one of the guys but she is an ex wife of one of my guy friends and again I would NEVER screw that up because my homeboy is like a brother to me.I know a lot of guys feel that they don’t need any female friends but I feel that these friends offer a unique prospective on a number of things.

    • http://sennysen.wordpress.com Senny Sen

      Thanks for commenting Derrick! I have talked to both men and women from all sides and I can’t find what the majority think. But you are right that there are certain people who should always remain off limits. Of course there are always those people who dont care about limits or boundries.