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This warning is so important I must repeat it again.

WARNING! Being His Dip/Sidepeice/Mistress is Detrimental to Your Self-Esteem!

Being the mistress, is about more than simply having a good time.

• It means you are supposed to be at his beck and call.
• You are to be totally understanding when he cancels at the last-minute.
• You are supposed to be fun at all times. Expressing your feelings good or bad isn’t allowed because that’s reminiscent of his wife.
• Don’t expect to ever meet the family. Depending on his character he may bring you around his friends but don’t expect to be hanging out in public.
• Your time together will most likely be spent in hotels, your house, a friend’s house, or some dark place outside of where is his wife frequents.

None of these things sounds like fun to me but guess what people do it anyway. Why do we, woman, willingly allow ourselves to let a man disrespect us like that. Is it really because the sex is so mind-blowing or do we feel that bad about ourselves? I hear woman justify their mistress status by saying, “I get to have all the fun with no responsibility”. But that really isn’t true. It’s more of a justification (you can justify anything in your mind) to make ourselves feel better about the pseudo relationship. When in actuality there is no relationship at all.

Women, we must set our standards higher.

There was a point in my life, when I was so angry that I had the attitude of who cares. My ex-husband was an habitual cheater. It was like he was addicted to it and these women didn’t care not one bit. I began to feel like, ‘hell no one cared about me when I was married so why should I care about someone else and their marriage?’ So many women have this type of destructive thinking. Let’s take karma out of the equation (you will get back what you put out there) and focus on you.

You are settling to be runner-up behind this man’s wife. More times than not, while he says he will leave his wife, they rarely ever do. You are an escape from the monotony of his family life. You are the fun. You are the ego stroker. You are the dangerous adventure. He doesn’t see you for you. He sees you as means to his end. Guess what, you aren’t the only one either.

Stop settling to be his means to an end. Stop wasting your precious time with someone who doesn’t respect you. Regardless what you may tell yourself, the longer you are in it you will find yourself vying for his attention and time. You will eventually want more and when he can’t give it to you, what do you do? Settle for whatever he gives you. Stop settling.

It’s ok to be alone for a little while. You can walk away from a dead-end relationship. You are better off without it anyway. There is a man out there who can’t wait to cherish, love, and respect you but he can’t get to you because you have allowed another woman’s man to occupy your mind. Aren’t you tired of spending every holiday alone? Aren’t you worth more than the day before or after his birthday. Aren’t you worth more than to be shhhhh’d when his wife calls?

Wait on Love

Sister, you are beautiful! You are worthy of so much more. Look in the mirror and realize there’s so much more out there than this terrible situation. The man for you will respect you. He will also respect you enough to partake in a side relationship with you. Aren’t you worth so much more than being his dirty little secret? I know you are!

You can’t see because you have on your rose-colored glasses. Take them off so you can see the situation for what it truly is, destructive.

Heal your heart! Rebuild your self-esteem! Set your standards!

Until next time….