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This question resonates loudly in my mind. Why do we get married? I have posed this question to several people both old and young. To my surprise, the answer varies greatly by age group. Older more experienced people believe in loves existence but take a realistic approach on life. They feel a marriage is similar to a business partnership. You both have your own reasons for being part of the partnership. On the other hand, younger people want to marry strictly for love. I believe love between unrelated people is conditional. It is because of these conditions there needs to be more substance to a relationship than just love. Substance can be found in various forms; friendships, common interests, or common goals. I believe this is why communication is so important in relationships. I am no relationship expert but these are my opinions based on life experiences.
My marriage to Spank has been quite a tumultuous one. We got married when I was 22 and he was 28. We were very young and I was very naive. I married him because I loved him. I loved him so much that I lost sight of who I was. I lost myself in him. Our marriage was ruined by infidelity and lack of respect for each other. We actually were divorced for three years. And in those three years we never let completely go of each other. Now I don’t know if this was because we loved each other so much or because we couldn’t stand to see the other one happy with someone else. Either way, we got back together and now our relationship is totally different. I still am in love with him but it’s different. We don’t fight like we used to. We don’t stress the small things like we used to. We are here for better or for worse. At 30 and 36, with age related ailments setting in and other life issues arising its nice to be with someone whom you can trust and depend on. It’s nice to have the kids raised in a two parent household. It’s just nice! Our relationship took on a whole new mature persona of its own because it’s no longer all about him and me.
Unfortunately, our reconciliation didn’t last. In the end, I was able to walk away with my emotions in tact because his true self has once again revelead itself. This man has taken me through so much but I loved him so much that I was willing to set aside those things to make OUR family work. I was tricked back into this relationship for him to ultimately become worse than he was before. But I know there is still love out there for me. I have finally taken my baggage out to the dumpster for good!